Trust ? ... Nah.

I can't exactly remember when I stopped trusting people. Neither can I place my finger on what exactly did it for me; whether it was that I had been betrayed one time too many or that the people around just started to suck at keeping their promises. Or maybe, they did keep them. I just never took notice (can you picture the smirk on my face right now ?) Yeah. Unlikely. As if it isn't already obvious, I don't trust a soul. Not one. Not even my family. And here's the catch; God's actually fine with it. You see, man's word is just that. Word. It's as fleeting as a flock of geese taking cover from an incipient storm. It never really stands, you know ? It's like grass in the field. " Grasses wither and flowers fall, but the word of the Lord stands forever" [1 Peter 1:24-25]

                    See? I'm actually admonished not to trust man. Orders from above [Isaiah 2:22]  and boy am    I taking heed.

               

The M I N D E

Its my birthday today. It doesn't feel like it. Haha, its funny.its when I'm legal and supposed to be happy-go-lucky about my ticket to this much talked about 'freedom' that I feel the LEAST excited. Seriously. I've never been this blase about my birthday before. I still can't conjecture if that's good or bad. Well, if it's any consolation, God gave me the BEST present I could ask for. That's Big Guy alright. Always pulling through for me. *_* So yeah. I'm 18. I'm a girl. I feel equally excited about those two facts. I wonder if things would have been any different if I was home. Probably not. I guess it's because I grew up thinking birthdays were a big deal. Re-socialisation's setting in though. This is probably the beginning of many unbelievably mundane birthdays to come.

Jeez. It was evidently a depressing day.

Birthday Blues

My urge to write gets stronger everyday. Its like I've opened Pandora's box or something. Okay so it's about 14 hours to my birthday and I'm supposed to be turning legal. Big whop. The only thing I have to show for it is my Voters' ID card and my future driver's license (okay maybe not so much of a big whop *_*) Strangely, or maybe not so, I don't feel any special. Growing up, birthdays have always been a big deal for me and I almost always make a fuss...in my head anyway. Last year, oh my, I didn't even get a cake. I realise that each passing year, the novelty wears off more and more. Sloowly. I'm about to turn 18 and I feel as normal as I do when I'm about to brush my teeth. I AM thankful for my life and for another shot at it but that's where the party ends. For me, it's just another day. Happy almost birthday to me *blows out imaginary candle*

The Genesis of My Candour Pangs

I'm sitting in the library and its two days to my birthday (whoop-de-doo) and I should be cramming my head with locations and population figures and all that shish-kabob (because yes, I have the most exciting subject ever - Geography of course - in less than 24 hours) but all I can think of is how much I want to blog. I'm experiencing a moment of candour and the only form of technology currently available to me is a calculator. Go figure. I'll be home soooon :) . Alright, I'm jumping off Cloud 9 now. So yeah, where was I? Advantages of rail transport...

Random moments of candour

So whilst I was in school, I kept having random 'moments of candour' . Like I'd just be sitting there and all of a sudden I'd feel a sudden strong urge to write. Basically, over my five-month stay in school, I did a lot of scribbling here and there, penning down my thoughts as randomly as they came, with the hope of blogging them once I had the chance to. So yeah, the next few, or not so few, blogs are in no particular order, and are stuff that I 'blogged' while away.

Still thinking of a title...

Small wonder. I found the attempt of a poem I wrote about a year ago as a submission to the Editorial Board of my school. Of course, I never submitted it. Note my sucky attempt at trying to rhyme. Here goes nothing...Literally :

" Hugs. That warm envelope that engulfs you when overcome by emotion.

  Inspired by wonder, nostalgia, joy, I cannot grasp its notion. 

  So powerful a tool of communication, just one can speak volumes.

  To try and fathom the feelings they convey, I tell you friend is no use.

   I love you, I miss you, I want you, I need you, all sayings balled up in one hug.

   The comfort this envelope offers you, I daresay is more than that of a rug.

   It means so much to a fellow man when you decide to give one

   So bright the aura it gives off, it almost competes with the sun.

   A smile, a laugh, a tear, a pat are nothing a hug compared to.

   Because with hugs its easy to say basically anything all the way through.

   So give someone a hug today, to portray that feeling inside.

   A big bear hug be ready to give, just open your arms up wide."

   The End.

Wow. That's obviously too much premium placed on a hug eh. Talk about emotional.

"For every person who has put you down and filled your life with pain
 you must strive to achieve greatness and show them you can win.
 For every disappointment, for the times you are let down,
 there will be a better moment and your life will turn around.
 Because everyone feels heartache, and everyone feels pain
 but only those who have true courage can get up and try again."


The above is an excerpt of a poem I came across and I just HAD to write it down because it jumped out at me. Mainly because I can relate. The poem was written by a teenager. Maybe that's why I feel like I can relate. Go figure. These sentences, though few, have so much depth. And it encourages me to move, to strive, to win. So this one's to all who hurt me or caused me pain in some way or the other. You only made me stronger. And I'm winning this. In your honor. :)